rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
This house was built for laser tag.
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You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
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I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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