To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
