It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
