I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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