just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
