I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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