I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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