I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
