Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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