Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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