There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
