i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
