I heard we made out
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
