Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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