a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize