Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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