Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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