Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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