You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
