My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
