So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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