She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize