I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
jump out the window naked night went bad
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
