question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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