please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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