so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
