One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize