I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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