I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
