We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
