i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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