i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
