four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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