you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
