By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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