If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
