Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
