I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
