who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
