she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There's always time for handjobs
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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