Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
