Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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