Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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