okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
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I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
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My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize