he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
