I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize