Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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