Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
