i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
