I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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