you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
