I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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