I think im going to throw up on grandma
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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