There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
