ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
