I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
