No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
