Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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