Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
